Stand
Your Mango
New Florida “Law”—The Mango
Doctrine
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| Stand Your Mango |
It’s no accident
that while the George Zimmerman trial for shooting Travon Martin festers away
in Sanford that I’ve been thinking about the Castle Doctrine. It’s a law in
more than half of the states in our country and it is simple: You don’t have to
leave your home if said home is being attacked. Florida and other states step a
bit past the Castle Doctrine and have the Stand Your Ground, Line in the Sand,
or No Duty to Retreat laws. Those laws mean that if you are somewhere you have
a right to be and an assailant presents him/herself, neither must you retreat
nor do you break the law if it becomes necessary to use deadly force to protect
yourself or your property in said place.
I’ve made up my mind
regarding how I feel about Zimmerman (he’s guilty of murder), but I haven’t
quite made up my mind about just how far the Castle Doctrine should go—and just
how far citizens should go when enforcing the law to protect themselves and
their property or to suit their own purposes.
A case in point was
presented to me on a recent walk to a neighborhood park in Vero Beach. Across
the sidewalk, that doctrine question reared a rather ugly aspect of its head.
The sign in the front yard was clear: Mangos 4 Sale. The tree wasn’t lush with
mangos weighting the branches. Few were even visible. But the property owner
made it clear that mangos were for sale.
I had no trouble translating the Spanish No
and Nada. I figured Toca was a variation on take. In other words: Don’t steal the
mangos. If you want one, buy it. The 357
Magnum text (for which I needed no translation) underscored the Don’t Steal
the Mangos message and made it perfectly clear that Toca would not be tolerated.
I don’t know much
about guns, but I gather that a 357 Magnum is a powerful weapon. I’m clear that
it’s powerful enough to kill someone. And that’s where I have a problem with
this property owner’s Stand Your Mango Law, or what I call the Mango Doctrine.
I know about growing fruit and vegetables and flowers. I’ve been doing it for
years and became a master gardener in Massachusetts. I understand the
frustration a grower feels during that early-morning garden check when it’s
obvious that the deer have once again eaten half of what I’ve planted. I
understand that anger when I see a once ready-to-bloom sunflower minus the top
eight inches of the plant. I no longer feel the “Oh, look that the pretty deer”
sentiment when I see them frolicking in a field. All I think about is the incredible
amount of damage they can do to a garden, a field, a backyard. I also think
about the carnage they inflict on the highways when they blast in front of a
car that doesn’t have enough time to stop before dashboard meets deer. But not
once have I felt the need to pick up a gun to solve the deer problem.
Instead, I had males
mark my garden territory. I left my dogs out as long as possible at night
during the growing season. I wished for a fence—a tall, sturdy fence. When none
of the above worked, and because I wasn’t desperate to feed my family with my
garden, I left the deer alone and bought my seasonal veggies at a farmer’s
market. Should I decide to garden again for food, I will build a fence, because
even my meager attempts at a food garden in Florida have been digested by other
creatures in the night.
I don’t like my
gardening efforts stolen or otherwise taken, but I believe a 357 Mango Magnum (or
even the threat of one) is extreme. I cannot imagine that a mango is worth any
human life. If a mango is worth a life, then I imagine Florida could add
several new laws to its Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground Law: Stand Your
Mango, Stand Your Orange, Stand Your Grapefruit, Stand Your Tangerine, Stand Your
Strawberry. Other states could follow suit: Georgia—Stand Your Peach;
Washington State—Stand Your Apple; Vermont—Stand Your Maple; Maine—Stand Your
Lobster; New Jersey—Stand Your Tomato; Louisiana: Stand Your McIlhenny Tabasco
Sauce; California—Stand Your Carrot; Idaho—Stand Your Potato. The only way such violent aspects of such
proposed laws would end is when a life ends. The existing laws have merit,
indeed, and I’m for protecting my home and myself, whether within or without my
castle. But that protection extends to the walls and to my personal space. If
someone wants a mango of mine enough to steal it, they can have it.
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