Calling This Heathen

A Call Toward This Christian

Who Has a Touch of the Heathen in Her

I’m a heathen… not a huge sinning heathen, but in spite of being a Christian, I tend toward some rather contentious views. Nonetheless, most churches have welcomed me (and my oddities) with open arms. One member of my church in New Hampshire joked that I should be “excommunicated” when he saw my pierced nose, but he honestly was kidding. He and the rest of the church accepted me—and all my quirks.

Heathen I am in one respect for sure. I haven’t been to church—in a long time. It’s been hard to find a good fit since I moved back to Florida. I pretty much gave up. One church, however, keeps drawing me toward it. I’ve been a handful of times and after each service I feel blessed and fulfilled. Lazy heathen that I am, I last went during Lent—in March. Drawn again I was last Sunday, so I dressed my lazy, unmotivated self and went to church.

My spirit was hungry. It had been far too long since I’d been fed in any spiritual way. Little was I to know that I would be served my favorite meal. I don’t know a lot of hymns and only some resonate for me. I’ve been told my favorite is difficult to play, so I know I will not hear it often during services. I don’t even remember the last time I heard it. I recognized it instantly when the first notes were played Sunday morning. I was stunned. I was filled with spirit and wholeness. I felt like I had come home after being away for a long, long time.

I don’t know where I’ll find myself next Sunday morning. I hope it’s in the pew of the Episcopal church where I continue to be drawn. In some ways I feel called… and I want to be able to answer, “Here I am, Lord.”

The hymn’s title is “Here I am, Lord,” but I always call it, “I, the Lord of sea and sky.” It’s based on Isaiah 6:8: “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.”

I spent some time listening to You Tube versions and the following is the best I found: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdFqzPBaDJA

Here I am, Lord

I, the Lord of sea and sky, 
I have heard my people cry. 
All who dwell in dark and sin 
My hand will save. 
I who made the stars of night, 
I will make their darkness bright. 
Who will bear my light to them? 
Whom shall I send? 
Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? 
I have heard You calling in the night. 
I will go, Lord, if You lead me. 
I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain, 
I have borne my people's pain. 
I have wept for love of them. 
They turn away. 
I will break their hearts of stone, 
Give them hearts for love alone. 
I will speak my Word to them. 
Whom shall I send?

I the Lord of wind and flame, 
I will tend the poor and lame. 
I will set a feast for them. 
My hand will save. 
Finest bread I will provide 
Till their hearts be satisfied. 
I will give my life to them. 
Whom shall I send? 
Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? 
I have heard You calling in the night. 
I will go, Lord, if You lead me. 
I will hold your people in my heart.

 ~ Daniel L Schutte